Dun Dun!

Two weeks off from work is too much.  I never know what to do with myself, not even with a short list of necessary projects to complete and a play to memorize so that I don't feel like a fool when rehearsals start in six days.  (Please note:  I have not started any of said short list of projects or said memorizing.)  I have gone to the gym, and that's about the extent of my productivity, if you don't count doing the dishes.

However, Jack (who has a comparable amount of time off) has been watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent on Netflix like it's free heroin.  So far he has gotten through Seasons One & Two in their entirety, with yours truly joining in for most of the 2nd season.  Since all of this Vincent D'Onofrio-being-brilliant watching has happened in such a compressed period of time, I am now losing my mind...

...I have begun to think that everyone is a criminal in a case I know about (but don't know that I know about, natch), and that they are subsequently planning my murder -- in order to erase all of my knowledge & their connection to the case.  Every time I walk to the gym, I fear my fellow pedestrians: Modesto's not a walking town like New York, the amount of pedestrians are few and far between -- and those who are walking are as likely to be a delinquent or derelict of society as they are to be a good, kind upright member of the community.  I swear of the eight people I've passed on the sidewalk in the past two days (yes, only eight -- I told you no one walks!), only one of them was without suspicion...

...last night, I had woken up in the middle of the night & was calmly lying there, trying to fall back to sleep, when I heard the unmistakable sound of my phone receiving a text message.  I was tempted to get up to see who it was (who texts at 3 am?!), but immediately thought: "This is a plot!  They know that I know, even though I don't know that I know, and they've gotten my phone number somehow and they are hiding, waiting for me to go into the kitchen, where they've cut the smallest hole in the glass, just big enough for a bullet (silenced, of course) to pass through so they can take me out!  Little do they know, our front yard just begs to be walked upon, as the recent rains have turned the soil into something like wet cement.  Their prints will lead Agent Goren to my killer in no time, and my memory will be vindicated!"...

...ok, I didn't quite think all of that, just the possibility that it was a message whose only real purpose was to get me out of bed at 3 am to ambush me....I didn't think of the details of the ambush or how they'd get caught...I promptly started thinking of anything but L&O:CI and listening to the sounds of Jack's sinuses (they get all stuffed up when he sleeps, poor guy) and eventually fell asleep.

Obviously he and I need to do something other than watch Criminal Intent for the next few days.

iSpec.

GOT TO GET THE CRAFTS DONE!!

I have a baby blanket for Mike & Marianne's baby that is still in progress and a striped scarf for my momma, and I do NOT have much time, so the grandma reading glasses are on, the coffee is hot, and Nutcracker is queued up on Hulu.  Let the crocheting/knitting begin.

Tipping the scales (ish).

I definitely gained five pounds from Thanksgiving week.

No joke.  If you recall, I joined the gym shortly before Thanksgiving, and at the "fitness evaluation" they make you take, I weighed in at 136.  Not a number I like, but not in the dreaded 140's.  For me, I associate the 140's with my last year of college.  It was a number that I was proud of but not happy with, because I was still out-of-shape, with little muscle tone, and I did not feel healthy.  Healthier, yes, but not healthy.  When I moved to New York, the change in lifestyle and the countless miles logged walking around the city was enough to firmly push me into the 130's, but not to give me much tone, which is why I was determined to join a gym when I could one day afford it (which I did, and gained that desired tone, yadda-yadda-yadda...)

Well, I was a good girl & went to the gym 6 out of my first 10 days (starting Mon. Nov. 16th), but then lapsed on the Wed. before Thanksgiving.  And proceeded to have four non-stop days of eating -- which included two full Thanksgiving dinners and one amazing Basque meal (more on that at a later date).  And on that following Monday, I was at 142 lbs.

YIKES.

I haven't seen 142 in four years.  So I panicked.  And felt miserable for a couple of days.  But continued to go to the gym.  And since I know that as I'm gaining muscle, that number won't drop quickly (as muscle weighs more than fat) and since I am beginning to feel healthier, I'm keeping positive, because I know it isn't about the number, it's about how I feel.  How I feel overall is glad to have the gym membership, as it not only gives me a place to work on my physical health & well-being; the workout itself tends to have a calming influence and an "un-wrinkling" effect on my psyche, regardless if the wrinkles are large or small that day.

DAMN YOU SELF IMAGE.  Why must you be so....perpetual?