Tipping the scales (ish).

I definitely gained five pounds from Thanksgiving week.

No joke.  If you recall, I joined the gym shortly before Thanksgiving, and at the "fitness evaluation" they make you take, I weighed in at 136.  Not a number I like, but not in the dreaded 140's.  For me, I associate the 140's with my last year of college.  It was a number that I was proud of but not happy with, because I was still out-of-shape, with little muscle tone, and I did not feel healthy.  Healthier, yes, but not healthy.  When I moved to New York, the change in lifestyle and the countless miles logged walking around the city was enough to firmly push me into the 130's, but not to give me much tone, which is why I was determined to join a gym when I could one day afford it (which I did, and gained that desired tone, yadda-yadda-yadda...)

Well, I was a good girl & went to the gym 6 out of my first 10 days (starting Mon. Nov. 16th), but then lapsed on the Wed. before Thanksgiving.  And proceeded to have four non-stop days of eating -- which included two full Thanksgiving dinners and one amazing Basque meal (more on that at a later date).  And on that following Monday, I was at 142 lbs.

YIKES.

I haven't seen 142 in four years.  So I panicked.  And felt miserable for a couple of days.  But continued to go to the gym.  And since I know that as I'm gaining muscle, that number won't drop quickly (as muscle weighs more than fat) and since I am beginning to feel healthier, I'm keeping positive, because I know it isn't about the number, it's about how I feel.  How I feel overall is glad to have the gym membership, as it not only gives me a place to work on my physical health & well-being; the workout itself tends to have a calming influence and an "un-wrinkling" effect on my psyche, regardless if the wrinkles are large or small that day.

DAMN YOU SELF IMAGE.  Why must you be so....perpetual?